Entry 53: A New Year~

It’s been a long 9 month hiatus.

Chinese New Year’s is around the corner and it feels like the right time to come back to my blog. I was largely absent because I lost my 1st ever full time job in a matter of months. I worked at a hagwon again and I had real high hopes that this time things wouldn’t or couldn’t be the same as the other hagwon I worked at.

Turns out it was a lot similar if not worse cause the school clearly had problems revamping and updating their material. The only thing they revamp unfortunately is hiring new teachers.

This school seemed like it had it all great location, students from wealthy families, a facility that is clean and large enough for students. But it wasn’t what I could have ever expected.. After working here I actually re-developed some depression and anxiety issues that hasn’t surfaced since my later years of high school.

I was made to feel unwanted and stuck with little to no instruction other then to teach nearly impossible tasks and fulfill higher to manage exceptions. I desperately wanted to do my best and I did all I could to get to class at least 50 minutes early. I would look over material like a possessed person and it was frustrating when it was all for waste.

The children are wonderful don’t get me wrong but they are so used to a system where teachers only teach for a couple months and then they are removed because their parents want better for them. With all that money pumped into a high class hagwon you would think that it just seems like a better idea for private professional tutoring or fancy overseas boarding schools to further their children’s English ability.

Now these days I don’t tempt myself in finding hagwon jobs because I already know the system and how hard it is to please Korean mothers and fathers with their children’s progress. I’d rather take a job that won’t put me down bottom line.

Maybe I’m incredibly unlucky with these hagwon jobs or maybe times are that crucial that Koreans don’t take a chance on a school they feel won’t better their children. Children that are groomed to excel from such an early age.

I strive to move past this and not feel shame for losing a job but take from this a lesson of one’s self worth. Even if I continued work here I would not be myself at the mercy of my ex-boss’s tyrant like fits or be being belittled like a child.

I haven’t had much adventure or enjoyed the sights of Korea like I would have hoped I could. But I’m hopeful this year will be better.

 

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